How do I know if I am attractive for someone? Well, we should always bear in mind that whatever qualities may appear as attractive to one person wouldn’t necessarily be attractive to another one. There is 7.8 billion people in the world and definitely there is no two people that are the same. Even though we would not seem attractive to every single person out there, still there is certain basic rules which if you follow you will appear as one of the most attractive amongst all. All you need is just to be aware of them and to practice them, simple as that.
Start with putting yourself in a position what you find truly attractive. What kind of people you like and for what reason? Is it because they keep talking about themselves? Or because they reach out to you only when they need something? Or when they treat you badly and underestimate you? No! It is quite the opposite.
Focus your attention on the other person Ask genuine questions. Be interested in them. But most importantly – listen! Because the more you listen the more you will be able to ask further questions. If they start talking about something you may not fully understand, take advantage of that. You can ask deeper questions such as “What do you mean by that?” or “I´m not sure if I understand correctly, can you explain that to me?” This is the moment they realize you are really listening and who doesn’t like to be listened to?
Use their name What is the most favorite thing we like to hear? Our name! Yes, it is not even “I love you” but it is our name indeed. That is the only thing that our brain always reacts to. We keep hearing it on our daily basis. Let’s be honest, we meet so many people in our lives and so many times we forget their name the moment they say it. Be different, stand out and whenever you can mention their name throughout your conversation, do it. Believe me, they will do like you more for that.
Remember details This is related to attentive listening. Except of being a good listener it will work in your favor to also remember things the other person shares with you. Do they mention their important moments from past? Or their favorite food, book, or a movie? Mention it in your next conversation. Or surprise them with their favorite chocolate. It takes such a small effort to play their favorite song in a car and makes such a big difference at the same time.
Give compliments Make people around you feel flattered. But again if you give a compliment, then mean it. Don’t be cheesy, it is so easy to spot it. Be picky about compliments, notice a detail and bring it up. A man for instance may appreciate if you compliment his cufflinks or a tie. Or how you like the way they are supportive, smart or hard working. For females you can compliment on their shoes, nails or hair. Or how you adore their feminine energy, their passion about something or their cute quirks.
Maintain contact You met someone new, you made a great first impression but more important is to also maintain your relationship. Reach out to them regularly, check on them, offer to grab a coffee or a drink. Consistency is the key to any long-lasting relationship.
These rules are quite general ones to look attractive to anyone – female, male, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, business partners… But I am here to talk about dating and relationships, right. So, let’s go deeper in that direction.
Give your full attention and be different Listen to that person. Yes, sometimes it is hard, and we get distracted throughout a conversation. But if you are on a date at least don’t touch your phone. The best would be to keep it in a pocket/bag. You two met to be with each other so get the most out of it. Also have few ice breakers ready. Conversation does not always keeps flowing, have a card ready in your sleeve.
Have your own interests Do things, have hobbies, read books, explore places, meet up with friends, meet new people. Show that you know how to make yourself busy and happy. People with their own interests always seem more attractive.
Work on yourself Are you happy with who you are? You can always be better though. We have unlimited access to so many new things that we can learn. Dating someone who is constantly looking for growth is an attractive trait.
Put yourself first No matter how much you like your new person, you should always come first. Don’t over cross your boundaries. Keep it within your limits. Do so that if you break up tomorrow you wouldn’t feel like you didn’t have your own life.
Learn to accept compliments It is very common that people getting compliments don’t know how to accept them. If someone compliments you just simply thank for it. You got a compliment for a reason. Don’t start talking about how you don’t see yourself the same way, don’t undermine it.
Be respectful and thoughtful Treat everyone as you want to be treated. Golden rule that never gets old. Are you observing your date how they talk to others? Well, they are observing you too. Think about other´s feelings, put yourself in other´s shoes and be kind.
Be affectionate In the first few months of dating, it is important to feel liked. You don’t have to do much of a PDA but try to use small moments to prove you like them. Random touch whilst you are grocery shopping. Or cute kiss on a forehead (us women we love it). Stop for a moment doing what you are doing and just stab one kiss. Say regularly how they make you feel.
Be sociable and not too clingy If you go out and you are on your partner’s arm all the time, you may come off as too clingy. Give space and have yours. Don’t be shy to talk to new people, show that you know how to have a good time even if you are not right next to each other.
Be sexy and confident Believe in yourself, have a healthy self-confidence, and feel yourself sexy. We all want a partner that is not complaining about weight or baldness or shortness. You are beautiful as you are and often sexiness comes from within. It is not even about how you look but how you carry yourself.
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