Why Good People Stay Single Longer: The Stats Behind the “No One Serious Out There” Feeling

If you’re smart, kind, self-aware, and still single, you're not alone. In fact, you’re part of a growing group of people asking the same quiet question: “Where are all the serious, emotionally available people?” At Find Your Swan, we meet high-quality individuals every week who are deeply ready for love but feel stuck in a dating cycle that doesn't reflect their values. The truth is, being “a good catch” isn’t always enough in today’s dating landscape, and the data backs this up.

1. Most People Say They Want Commitment but Few Are Dating With Intention

According to Pew Research (2023), 72% of single adults say they want a serious relationship. But only 22% of dating app users say they’re actively dating with commitment as the goal. That’s a huge gap between desire and behavior. This mismatch means that serious-minded people are swiping through a sea of casual daters, flings, and people who are still “figuring things out.” Being emotionally available and ready for love doesn’t guarantee that others are. You’re ahead of the curve, but that also makes dating harder when most people aren’t in the same phase.

2. The “Quality Over Quantity” Trap: Good People Are More Selective

Research from the University of Vienna shows that people with strong self-awareness, higher emotional intelligence, and stable lifestyles tend to be more selective in dating. They don’t pursue low-effort connections or tolerate red flags. While this is healthy, it also narrows the dating pool significantly, especially on apps that reward impulsivity over depth. You’re not picky. You’re discerning. But that often leads to longer periods of singleness while waiting for truly aligned partners.

3. The Rise of “Dating App Burnout” Among Serious Seekers

A 2024 Hinge study reported that 61% of users feel emotionally drained by online dating, and those seeking commitment are the most affected. Why? Because they invest more energy and get less clarity in return. Good people often disengage from dating apps entirely, feeling like there's “no one serious out there.” The pool gets smaller not because the right people don’t exist but because many are stepping back in frustration, just like you.

4. Emotionally Mature People Often Delay Dating On Purpose

Studies from The Gottman Institute show that individuals with high emotional maturity tend to wait until they are emotionally, financially, or mentally ready before pursuing relationships seriously. This group includes people who’ve gone through healing, therapy, or life transitions. If you're in this group, you’re probably only recently re-entering the dating world. You’re intentional, but you’re also playing catch-up with a dating culture that doesn’t reward depth.

So... Why Good People Stay Single And Where Are All the Serious People?

They’re not gone. They’re just not on every app, at every party, or in every DM. Many are also wondering where you are. This is where a professional matchmaking service like Find Your Swan changes the game. We work exclusively with people who are serious about love, emotionally available, and ready to commit. We eliminate the guesswork, ghosting, and misalignment and introduce you only to matches who are truly on the same page.

Final Thought

If you’re one of the many wondering why good people stay single despite doing everything right, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to stay stuck. Find Your Swan is here to help you connect with people who are truly aligned with your values and ready to commit. Being a good person in a dating world built for fast matches and short attention spans is hard. But it doesn’t mean love isn’t within reach. It just means you need a better system.

Schedule a private consultation with Find Your Swan today. Let’s match intention with compatibility and finally give your heart what it’s been waiting for.