Closure Is a Scam: Here’s What You Actually Need

We’re taught that “closure” is the final step to healing after a relationship ends. The idea is neat and comforting: you get an answer, you tie a bow around the story, and you move on.

But in reality, closure (at least the way most people chase it) rarely comes. Waiting for someone else to give you peace often keeps you trapped in pain, still tethered to a relationship that is over.

Closure is not something someone else hands you. It’s something you create within yourself.

Let’s reframe this together.

Why “Closure” Keeps You Stuck

• It depends on someone else. You wait for their text, their explanation, their apology, but they may never give it.

• It reopens wounds. Asking “why” over and over keeps you reliving the relationship instead of healing from it.

• It delays your healing. The more you fixate on their answers, the less space you have for your own growth.

What You Actually Need Instead

Here’s what leads to true emotional resolution, the kind that frees you to move forward with dignity and self-respect:

1. Self-validation: Your pain is real. Your love was real. You don’t need someone else to confirm that what you felt mattered.

2. Acceptance of the ending: Not every relationship gives us answers. The fact that it ended is enough information. Acceptance doesn’t mean approval, it means choosing not to fight reality.

3. Meaning-making: Instead of “Why did they leave me?” ask “What did this teach me about what I want, need, and deserve?” This shift puts the power back in your hands.

4. Boundaries for moving forward: Stop rechecking their social media. Stop waiting for the apology. Protect your peace so your energy is free for what’s ahead.

   
   

How to Start Creating Your Own Resolution

• Journal about what you learned from the relationship, without writing about them, only about you.

• Write a letter you’ll never send. Say the things you wish you could, then release it.

• Surround yourself with people who remind you of your worth, not just your wounds.

• Give yourself permission to move on without answers.

The Freedom Beyond “Closure”

You don’t need their explanation to heal. You don’t need their words to move forward. What you need is self-trust, clarity about your own desires, and the courage to let go of what wasn’t meant for you.

When you stop waiting for closure, you create space for something so much better — peace, growth, and the kind of love that doesn’t leave you questioning your worth.

✨ Swan, if you’re still holding on to a relationship because you’re waiting for “closure,” I invite you to do something different.

Book a private call with me, and let’s work on finding your peace from within so you can step into love with clarity and strength.